


Not Quite a Hollywood Romance

by This_Bloody_Cat



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Community: je_devilorangel, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 07:31:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_Bloody_Cat/pseuds/This_Bloody_Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kame and Jin meet in a not so accidental fashion. Eventually, people start calling in sick to work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite a Hollywood Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with Ale for the Devil or Angel challenge. Thanks to Belle, Isa and Carly for proofreading, and of course to Ale, for agreeing to write a story with me.

The first time Kame sets foot in New York, he’s a gawky skinny teenage boy on a family trip, with seemingly more knees and elbows than actual extremities, badly dyed spiky hair and mostly terrible skin, and everyone still calls him Kazuya because he’s not big and important and famous, not like he’ll maybe one day be. They’re celebrating that Kazuya has landed his first important role in a tv series. Kazuya would have actually preferred to go somewhere in Europe like London or Paris, but the fact that they’re celebrating his achievement apparently doesn’t mean he gets to choose their destination when he has three brothers to vote against him.  
  
It’s kind of a crazy trip because only Kazuya’s two older brothers can speak any English and it’s barely enough to help them get around, and Kazuya is grumpy for the first two days because he still thinks London would have been a better choice. In the end they manage not to get lost, or robbed, or end up shorter by one family member than they were on arrival, and Kazuya decides he doesn’t mind being in New York instead of Europe because New York is kind of cool with its skyscrapers and neon lights and yellow taxis and bustling streets. It helps that part of his present for landing the role are awesome tickets for an awesome baseball match.  
  
Their trip is only a week and a half long because they have school and there’s no way his father can take more days off, and by the end of it Kazuya has decided that even if America is not as cool as Europe, it’s not that bad after all. His mother comments in passing that if Kazuya works hard enough he may one day film a great movie here and become famous worldwide, and all his brothers laugh while he blushes and shrugs and says she’s crazy. As the plane takes them back to Japan, Kazuya takes one last look at the quickly shrinking land and thinks how cool it would be to really get a role in an American production, but he doesn’t stop to think too much about it because he has just landed his first half-decent role in Japan and a worldwide debut is just the crazy dream of a teenage boy who feels on top of the world. After all, Kazuya is glad to be going back home, if only because his brothers would never let him live it down if he waxed his eyebrows in front of them, and they’re starting to get a little out of control already.  
  
  
#   
  
  
The second time Kazuya visits New York, he’s twenty years old and most of Japan, or at least its female population aged between ten and forty years old, knows him as Kame, thanks to some leading roles as the perfect boyfriend in several romance dramas, and a bubbly co-star with a talent for obvious nicknames. It’s New Year’s Eve and Kame has been cast by as part of a special team a variety show is sending to cover the famous Times Square event with the ball dropping at midnight, even though he’s in the midst of filming a new movie - a sappy Christmas film where overly sweet romance meets coming of age themes, and that requires Kame to film at crazy hours of the morning and miss way too many hours of sleep.  
  
Kame should have been excited to go to New York again, and he would be if he weren’t too tired to register what was going on. He’s rushed from the movie set to the airport with a packed suitcase and a set of clothes he has to change into while in the car that magically appears by his side, and somehow a cup of strong coffee finds its way into his hand. The plane ride is filled with briefings on what’s to come, advice about the guests, proper questions and answers and how to act, and Kame doesn’t get a second to sleep, but he’s grateful for the constant stream of coffee coming his way. Only the time difference allows him to catch a couple of hours of precious sleep before he has to be up and about, dressed in a neat suit and going through hairstyling and make-up while memorizing the few English lines he’s expected to deliver throughout the night in his terrible accent.  
  
All in all, Kame’s second trip to New York lasts less than twenty four hours, and he spends all but two hours of it rushing from one place to another and trying to keep smiling even though he just kind of wants to die. There are colleagues to talk with in front of the camera, to joke with and answer their questions and drop subtle hints about his movie, seniors to admire and juniors to cheer on for the coming year both in situ and via streaming through the tiny screen the technicians are holding for them behind the cameras. The ball drops and Kame claps and cheers and toasts with everyone between polite exchanges of New Years' greetings. He drinks his flute of champagne and is promptly swept away by his manager to be whisked to the airport; he changes clothes in the car again and goes back to Japan because he has filming to do the next day.  
  
  
#   
  
This time, the third time Kame goes to New York, he’s five years older, the most popular actor in Japan for the second consecutive year, the most wanted lover, son, father and husband according to several magazines, a regular guest on several variety shows, host of a baseball program as well as his own radio show, winner of several audience awards and a platinum disc for his first single and, all in all, at the peak of his career. This time he travels alone, with two huge suitcases, the script of the movie he’s filming in New York, and a picture of his mother with her best smug,  _I told you so_  smile in his phone.  
  
Kame’s still not too sure how he was cast for the movie, when he can barely speak enough English to save his life. The film will be a Japanese-American co-production about a few members of a prominent yakuza family trying to establish new operations in New York. Kame’s somehow grabbed the role of a young legal advisor of Korean ancestry that has only recently joined the organization and is faced with his first important mission. The movie mixes the drama of the personal lives of the different characters with the struggle to succeed in a foreign country, alongside a detailed rendition of the mafia world both in America and Japan.   
  
It’s a good plot, a good character, far from the sweet, perfect boys he’s used to playing. Takayama Kazuo is an interesting character, and Kame’s excited about the chance he’s been given. Even though speaking English was not a requirement for the role, he’s expected to take English classes when he’s not filming, and he’s been assured he’ll be assigned a translator to help him with his daily life in America. He has a meeting with the producers and the director the day after his arrival, and he’s so excited he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep at all during the long flight.  
  
  
#  
  
  
In the clamour of the crowded airport Kame can barely hear himself think.  
  
He's feeling tired and uncomfortable, with his fingers threatening to go numb under the weight of his hand luggage, and standing around like an abandoned infant is starting to make him feel a lot like a discarded stage prop. His eyes scan the sea of strangers restlessly, trying to spot a sign with his name, the name of his agency, something, anything... but it's only after the terminal has emptied considerably that Kame actually notices  _him_.  
  
He's leaning despondently against the farthest wall, across from Kame. Almost hiding, really, and if it weren't for the sign he's holding, Kame would wonder what that shady looking dealer was doing in an airport full of people, full of security guards everywhere. As it is, Kame simply walks over to him; it's not like he's got many other options.   
  
The guy’s face is hidden behind a cap and huge sunglasses, and even from afar Kame can see the earbuds he’s wearing. It’s impossible to tell if he’s looking at Kame at all, behind the dark lenses, so Kame approaches him carefully and hesitates for a moment before poking him in the arm. In the end, he does, and it’s hilarious how the man jumps away with a startled squeak. Kame laughs before he can help himself, though he stops when the guy starts frowning - or at least Kame thinks it’s a frown; the only clue he gets are the man’s eyebrows knitted together over his sunglasses. At least he’s finally taking those earphones off.  
  
“Excuse me,” Kame starts with a polite smile, and the guy appears to relax a bit. He’s eyeing Kame over, but Kame’s too used to the cameras to feel uncomfortable. “I didn’t think you’d hear me.”  
  
“Are you Kamenashi?” Kame nods as pleasantly as he can, even though he’s not used to being addressed without honorifics. “Great. I’m supposed to help you around with the language, and the getting around and stuff. I’m Jin Akanishi.”  
  
And stuff. Yes, Kame could have explained it more eloquently, but he knows what an assistant’s job consists of. “Where’s everyone else?” he asks, because he’s starting to get a bit worried about this man’s lack of professionalism.  
  
The guy shrugs carelessly. “Well, I’m here, and now you’re here too. I don’t think we’re waiting for anyone else.”  
  
Akanishi is silent as they walk to the car, not even trying to make small talk; he doesn't ask Kame if he'd like some help with his bags, he never even looks back to make sure Kame is still following. The car is a shabby old thing that's obviously seen better days. The paint has faded in some places, and there are a few heavy scratches here and there. Kame starts doubting it can actually get them to his hotel in one piece the moment he notices how the rear-view mirror is shoddily held together with duct tape.  
  
The car is also, unfortunately, really small. Kame eyes the trunk with concern while Akanishi walks around it to unlock it. He's not sure his luggage is going to fit in there. When he turns around, Akanishi is staring at his suitcases as well, and Kame can't know for certain, standing in direct sunlight as he is, but for a second there he could have sworn Akanishi looked annoyed, of all things.  
  
“Did you really need to bring all of those?” The question is so sudden it catches Kame off his guard, unable to do much more than raise his eyebrows. “I mean, it's not like you're moving here permanently, you shouldn't need all this stuff,” Akanishi hurries to explain.  
  
Right. Who does this Akanishi think he is, anyway? Perhaps it’d be best to call the agency to make sure he’s really Kame’s assistant, and not just some random guy trying to pull his leg, or mug him, or worse. Then again, it'd be just Kame's luck to get stuck with some newcomer with a lousy attitude.  
  
“Have you ever worked as an assistant before?” Kame asks, barely managing to keep his tone civil, and Akanishi nods unconvincingly. “Then you should know it's not your place to question my choices.”   
  
It feels good to finally put this guy in his place. It’s been itching at Kame ever since he met him, and hopefully this will be the end of that. Even Akanishi should be able to take a hint when it’s not so much a hint as a warning.  
  
In the end, they manage to fit all of Kame’s luggage in between the trunk and the rear seat, and set off to the hotel in relative calm, even with Akanishi staring at Kame all through it like he’s some sort of loose cannon.  
  
Kame is no longer sure what to expect. By now, he thinks he’d be content enough if they could just get to their destination as fast as possible. Akanishi keeping his eyes on the road and his mouth shut would be a welcome bonus, but sadly, it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Instead, Akanishi keeps ranting about how he’s supposed to help Kame with his daily life, and translate for him during meetings and filming, as if Kame didn’t know all of that already.  
  
It’s annoying as hell, but Kame thinks he’ll be able to keep himself from strangling the guy on his first day.   
  
At one point, however, as they’re waiting for a traffic light to change, Akanishi suddenly turns to him - all judging eyes and tense jaw, as he’s looked for most of the ride - and goes, “So, Kame, wha--”   
  
 _Kame_ , he calls him, like he has any right to be giving him nicknames. Kame might not be his direct employer, but the guy is still working for him, and that... That just won’t do. It won’t do at all, and it must be written all over Kame’s face, too, because even Akanishi seems to have caught on this time.   
  
“I can call you Kame, right?” he’s saying, but there’s an edge of doubt in his voice now. “Isn’t that what they call you in Japan? Your fans?”  
  
“Are you one of my fans though, Akanishi-san?”  
  
Akanishi blinks, once, that big mouth of his hanging open like a dead fish. The fact that there’s not a single sound coming out is certainly quite an improvement. Perhaps this time it’ll sink in for good.  
  
“I didn’t think so,” Kame says. “The light’s green, by the way.”  
  
The hotel turns out to be not too far off and, from the look of it, up to Kame’s usual standards; he’s endlessly glad when for the first time since his arrival he doesn’t have to worry about nasty surprises. At least this time Akanishi helps him carry his bags up to his room, though he flees with a mumbled “Will pick ya up ‘morrow,” as soon as they reach Kame’s door.   
  
They haven’t even exchanged phone numbers, Kame realises. It would have been useful to be able to contact him, if the guy’s going to be any help at all. Well, he can’t be bothered running after him. It’s been a long day. Tomorrow, he’ll deal with all that - call the agency to ask about the guy if he has to - but for now, he’s just going to unpack his bags and try to relax.  
  
Perhaps this trip got off to a rocky start, but Kame isn’t the kind of person who’d let that little fact ruin his stay.  
  
  
#  
  
  
Jin completely regrets taking the job after that first meeting with Kamenashi.   
  
The day starts badly enough when Jin’s woken up by the main manager, three hours earlier than he should even be awake, all because Kamenashi had asked the manager to call Jin and tell him to pick him up. Apparently, the guy had something to do at the studio, a full two hours before the meeting even started, that just couldn’t wait. And it doesn’t get better: Jin has to spend an hour showing Kamenashi around the studio - when he has mostly no idea where anything is himself - and Kamenashi is cold and distant and keeps calling him ‘Akanishi-san’.   
  
No one has ever used honorifics with Jin before in his life, much less called him by his surname. It’s unnerving, and it doesn’t help that Kamenashi seems to expect Jin to do the job of five people when Jin’s only supposed to be his translator.   
  
He’s just about ready to weep with relief by the time the meeting finally rolls around. It’s a mere formality, just there so the cast can get to know each other and briefly discuss their characters with the director; most of the important decisions have been made already. All in all, it sounds like a well-deserved break to Jin. There’ll be enough people in there so that Kamenashi’s attention won’t be so focused on him all the time - and, god, Jin could do without all the misplaced arrogance and indignant glares for a while, and the way Kamenashi treats him like he’s some butler. He might not even be required to translate for everyone, as some of the other actors are Japanese themselves.  
  
  
#  
  
  
They got off on the wrong foot, Akanishi and him.  
  
Kame took one look at the guy and decided he was a jerk. Now, as he watches Akanishi laugh at something a man in a grey suit is telling him, Kame thinks he might have been too quick to judge.   
  
Akanishi doesn’t seem like a bad person overall; it’s not like he goes out of his way to be unpleasant to anyone else. To everyone else, he’s an all-around nice guy, maybe a little on the shy side, but friendly enough that they’d probably find that cute rather than annoying - Kame knows he would, in different circumstances.   
  
It’s almost as if Akanishi’s anger was focused solely on Kame, and Kame can’t deny he might have contributed a bit to that but... he’s not the only one to blame. He’s pretty sure the resentment was already there, lurking beneath the surface, way before he so much as opened his mouth.  
  
He hisses quietly when the hairstylist's brush catches on his hair yet again, and chances another look in Akanishi's direction, but he seems to be talking still. Kame doesn’t really want to interrupt them over a little hair-pulling, not when he’s never seen Akanishi look this happy or relaxed before. It’s decidedly a good look on him. He feels a bit creepy about staring, but there aren’t many other ways to keep himself entertained while having to sit still on a styling chair.  
  
The man talking to Akanishi appears to be somewhere in his late forties. He’s balding and a bit overweight, but he has a friendly smile and kind eyes. Kame thinks his face looks vaguely familiar - he must have seen him around the studio before, perhaps he’s one of the American producers involved in the film. Kame can't hear what they're saying from here, but he doubts he’d have much luck figuring out what they’re talking about even if he could.  
  
They do seem awfully close, though. Kame guesses he shouldn’t be surprised; Akanishi is really quite good-looking, and who wouldn’t want to be close to someone who looks that...  
  
He shakes his head so suddenly the hairstylist’s brush is sent flying right out of her hand. This earns Kame a disapproving frown and, rather predictably, Akanishi’s attention; he seems to have made his way over while Kame was busy bowing and trying to piece together a sufficiently American-sounding apology.   
  
“Is there a problem?” Akanishi’s asking.   
  
Kame is about to reassure him everything’s all right when he notices the look in Akanishi’s eyes - it’s not so much concern as badly concealed contempt. There it is, that unexplained anger again. It’s frustrating, not knowing where it comes from, or what he can do to fix it, or even if there’s anything he can do at all.  
  
What right does Akanishi have to treat him like that anyway, like he’s not welcome at his own workplace? The guy isn’t even good at his job and it’s not like his job is particularly complicated. Kame’s had dozens of assistants before and none of them was this rude, this clumsy, this clueless... the worst ones at least managed to look like they enjoyed working for Kame - and how hard can it be to smile once in a while, really?   
  
Kame’s certainly not going to make an effort to be nice to someone who’s not even willing to do that much.  
  
  
#  
  
  
Kamenashi calls and asks Jin to meet him in front of Masa after a lunch he's having with a few of his fellow actors. Jin’s never actually been there before, but he knows well enough where to find it; it’s a Japanese restaurant in Midtown West, one of those obscenely expensive places where you need to make your reservation two weeks in advance just to make sure you have a table. A single lunch there is probably around half of Jin’s salary.   
  
It's quite a long drive from Queens, and by the time he finally gets there Kamenashi is standing with his arms folded, leaning against the wall by the entrance. He’s wearing a suit, and when he sees Jin approaching he takes off his sunglasses and just stands there, staring at Jin cautiously.  
  
“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” he says, totally out of the blue.  
  
“But I said I was on my way.” He’s only just arrived and the guy is already doubting him. Jin isn’t sure whether to feel puzzled or betrayed. All in all, he figures he should have expected something like this.  
  
“Yeah, but then you took forever to get here and I just...” There’s a pause, and Kamenashi biting his lip like there’s something else he wants to say. He’s probably debating how to tell Jin how utterly irresponsible he is for failing to magically appear there the minute he’s summoned. “You sounded kind of dodgy over the phone,” is what he goes with, and that’s just unfair.   
  
Jin didn’t sound  _dodgy_  over the phone, he sounded sleepy, and disgruntled, and possibly a bit hungover. “I had to drive all the way here and I wasn't even--” ...awake when Kamenashi rang. That’s why he went out last night, because today was supposed to be his free day. So much for that. “Why am I here, anyway? I thought your next scene was on Monday.”  
  
“Oh.” Kamenashi blinks, twice. “Sorry, I just assumed someone would have told you. One of the actresses called in sick this morning, so there’s been some rescheduling. I have to be on set in an hour.”  
  
It doesn’t take them that long to get there. Traffic is always a bit of a nightmare at lunch time, but they’re close enough that it doesn’t really matter. Jin just wishes he’d thought of grabbing something edible before he rushed to Kamenashi’s rescue - he hasn’t eaten anything since last night, and he’s starving.  
  
He sticks around like a good boy all through make-up and hairstyling - he wouldn’t want a repeat of that first day of filming, when he went outside for a smoke and Kamenashi threw a fit over it. Perfect Kamenashi, with his perfect manners and his perfect looks, never so much as a hair out of place. No wonder everyone else is so blinded by his famous charm that they fail to see just how much of a jerk he can be. Then again, that side of him seems to be reserved for Jin.   
  
As much as it pains Jin to admit it, the guy is actually good at what he does. Jin has been watching him act for a while now and he’s seen some stellar performances, although definitely not enough to justify that whole diva thing he’s got going on. Jin would probably be just as good if only he’d had all the chances Kamenashi’s had. If he didn’t keep being turned down at every audition.   
  
It makes Jin bitter. It’s not fair that Kamenashi gets to treat him like he’s worth nothing, that Kamenashi gets to act like an entitled diva when he’s no one in America, not yet, when it should be Jin filming a movie in this city,  _his_  city, and not Kame. Acting has been Jin’s dream for as long as he can remember, and having to watch it slip away from him while jerks like Kamenashi order him around like he’s their servant drives him mad.  
  
He doesn’t really want to consider that, or think about his failed acting career at all. He’s been unlucky so far, that’s all. It doesn’t have to mean he can’t still make it. He knows he’s got what it takes; he could  _be_  this guy, and that’s why having to work as his assistant instead grates so much.  
  
He figures it's safe enough to leave while Kamenashi is going over his lines. “I'm going to the cafeteria to grab a bite,” Jin tells him, and Kamenashi makes a quiet humming noise. Jin isn't quite sure what that's supposed to mean, but whatever. The guy has clearly heard him this time, so there can be no complaints about him disappearing unannounced. He hasn’t even reached the door when Kamenashi turns to him with a speculative look in his eye.  
  
“Wait,” he calls, “would you mind bringing me a cup of coffee on your way back? I didn’t get much sleep last night...”  
  
Sure. Why not? Since he’s Kamenashi’s waiter anyway - waiter, and chauffeur, and all-around errand boy. Jin’s still wondering why none of that was mentioned in his job description. He's on the verge of saying something really rude because he's just about had it with the guy, but in the end he manages to nod tersely instead. He's not going to give Kamenashi any more reasons to complain to the boss. Jin can’t afford to lose another job at the studio, no matter how much he hates it. It’s not going to improve his chances at an acting career at all.  
  
  
#  
  
  
Kame knows it's risky, but he has a free night and he doesn't think he'd forgive himself if he didn't take the chance here... The gay scene in Tokyo is not open for him, not beyond random tiny bars that cater only to celebrities and never offer more than drinks and the security of being away from the press' lenses. Kame can't aspire to anything else because his career would be over if he did, and he has long since learnt to accept that.  
  
Here, however, no one knows him. He's not famous in America, and no one would find it weird to see a random young Japanese man in a gay pub. He's nervous about going by himself, but there's no way he can ask Akanishi to accompany him, not with how much Akanishi seems to hate him, but he has been in New York for a month already, and he has been taking English classes all this time, so he should be all right. And if not, he can always retreat and try another day.  
  
Dressing up for the pub helps Kame make up his mind. Dark, faded jeans, a belt and a stylish t-shirt under a black vest, a golden earring and a thick leather bracelet. Kame checks his reflection in the mirror as he styles his hair and puts on just a bit of make-up and okay, he looks great, he can do this.  
  
He has done some research on the gay scene in New York so he takes a taxi and asks the driver to drop him off two streets away from the pub he has chosen, because even if no one knows him, it's never bad to take precautions. He walks all the way to the pub and the bouncer lets him in without any problems, even though Kame was nervous about it. It's hot inside, a space filled with flashing neon lights, sweet smelling smoke and bodies that dance and grind against each other. Kame licks his lips nervously and makes his way to the bar to ask for a drink. He’s going to need some liquid courage.   
  
It takes Kame a while to realise no one is looking at him. He has already finished a couple of drinks when he finally dares to move onto the dance floor. It helps that pubs are the same here as in Tokyo: the same music, the same rules. Kame takes a breath and starts dancing, lets himself get lost in the low pounding bass, in the beat that takes control of his movements and the mass of people that encases him. There's someone dancing against his back, and then there are hands on his hips and Kame only startles for a second before he gives in and finally starts enjoying himself.  
  
It feels liberating. He can feel male bodies around and against him, free and uninhibited. There are couples of men kissing against walls, half hidden by the dimmed lights and the anonymity of the crowd, couples that move towards the restrooms holding hands with naughty grins and maybe it's been too long since Kame visited a club even in Japan, or maybe he’s just had a drink too many, because he feels excited with the novelty of it all. He wraps his arms around the guy in front of him just because he can, and smiles when the man winks at him.  
  
He's still tense about being found out though, and it's not as much fun when he can't talk to anyone, the loud music and the people's accents and slang making it difficult to understand them. The tension and the tiredness from long hours of filming over the past month play against Kame, and after a couple of hours he feels like going home, even though it's not yet late. He's not feeling bad about the experience, though, and he’s had fun.  
  
He steps outside and takes a deep breath to clear his head of the pounding music and the smoke and the sweat of the club. He feels satisfied with himself and he feels like having a cigarette. He has a packet in his jacket pocket, but he has forgotten to take his lighter from his other jeans. Kame bites his lips and considers whether to just take a taxi and have a smoke at the hotel, then he decides that's stupid because he hasn't been taking English classes just to back down at the smallest challenge. If he can film an American movie, he can ask for a light too.  
  
He taps the shoulder of the man closest to him, a guy who looks huge and imposing even from behind, white t-shirt stretched over black skin rippling with muscles. He seems surprised as he turns around, but he smiles when Kame holds up his cigarette and asks for a light.  
  
"Hold on a sec, man. I don't smoke but my friend here does."  
  
Kame blinks at the man as he turns around again. He has barely understood him at all and he's half considering asking someone else when the man turns back towards him again, this time pushing another man towards him.  
  
"Here, this guy has one."  
  
Kame's not sure what to think when the man being pushed towards him is Akanishi. At least the man looks as surprised as Kame feels.  
  
"Kamenashi?" Kame's too shocked to even correct the lack of an honorific, so he just nods. "What are you doing here? Do you... know what... kind of pub this is?"  
  
Kame blushes at the question, but he nods anyway. Lying would only give Akanishi reasons to mock him, and well, if Akanishi is here himself Kame figures it has to mean something. Akanishi looks confused and like he wants to ask questions Kame isn’t very willing to answer, but the black dude interrupts them.  
  
"Do you guys know each other?"  
  
"Yeah... Yeah, he's a... A friend. From Japan." Akanishi doesn't even look at his friend as he answers, eyes fixed on Kame with a warning glare, as if he fears Kame will say something inconvenient, like that Akanishi actually works for him. "His name is Kamenashi."  
  
"Nice to meet you." The alcohol he’s had makes Kame's tongue clumsy and even more so when he's nervous and surrounded by Jin's friends. "Kamenashi is my surname though. We are in America so you can call me Kazuya."  
  
Now Jin's glaring poisonous daggers at him, but the other man laughs and pats Kame's shoulder strongly, pulling him into the circle of men.  
  
"Hey guys, this dude's friends with Jin! He's Kazuya, from Japan. My name's Mike!" Kame shakes his hand, and then everyone else's as he’s introduced to the rest of Jin's friends. He can feel Jin’s glare burning holes into the back of his head all through it. "You weren't going back home already, were you? Have a couple of drinks with us! Any of Jin's friends is our friend!"  
  
Kame blinks and turns to Akanishi for help. The man doesn't seem happy to translate for him, but he does anyway, and even though Kame wants to make up an excuse, Mike practically drags him inside with the rest of the group, and before he knows it, there's a drink in Kame's hand and a lot of questions being thrown his way.  
  
The interest in his person, however, doesn’t last. It's not easy to converse when the music is so loud and they need Akanishi to translate every so often, and soon Akanishi's friends turn to each other for conversation. They speak too fast and with way too much slang for Kame to understand what they're talking about, much less join in, and Akanishi doesn't really look like he appreciates Kame's presence in his group of friends, so he's not the safest choice for conversation either. But it's rude to leave so soon after being invited to join the group, and Kame finds himself getting bored.   
  
With nothing else to do, drinks pile up easily in front of him, and before he knows it, Kame's feeling more than a little tipsy. He decides it's better to go home, but he thinks he should tell Akanishi and Akanishi's nowhere to be seen. He resorts to just telling the man's friends and pulls himself away from the bar with a few pats on the shoulders and promises of hanging out together again.  
  
Kame almost misses Akanishi outside. The man is leaning against the wall of a dark alley a few meters down from the pub, and the only reason Kame sees him is because the tip of his cigarette glows red with a deep breath just as Kame walks past the street. Akanishi stinks of alcohol and smoke, and he looks drunk even from afar. He glares at Kame when Kame moves closer.  
  
"What do you want now?"  
  
"I only wanted to tell you I'm going back to the hotel already," Kame says softly and he wonders if Akanishi's too drunk to remember he’s talking to his boss.   
  
"Whatever," Akanishi snorts. "Mister Perfect is tired of meddling where he shouldn't? How great."  
  
And that takes Kame by surprise, because he knows Akanishi is angry but he doesn't understand what he’s done to anger the man. He doesn't understand what he’s done to be the target of all of Akanishi's seemingly endless bitterness ever since the day they met, and Kame's sick of it already and maybe a bit too drunk too.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Akanishi?"  
  
"Look at that!" Akanishi laughs. "Mister Perfect is not so perfect after all! Kamenashi- _san_  can be rude too. Who could have imagined?"  
  
Akanishi's voice is dripping with sarcasm and mockery, and it angers Kame more than he would have thought possible for such simple taunts. The alcohol in his system only seems to fuel his anger, and before he's fully aware of what he's doing he has shoved Akanishi against the wall. Akanishi's cigarette falls from his fingers to the ground between them and glows red for a moment before Kame tramples it as he takes a step closer to Jin.  
  
"Look, I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you but I'm sick of it, so if you have a problem with me you can tell me already or get the fuck over it before I get you fired, got it?"  
  
Akanishi tries to shrug off Kame's hands from his shoulders, but Kame's stronger and apparently considerably less drunk than him. He shoves Akanishi a bit harder against the wall and Akanishi's hands fist on the collar of Kame's t-shirt and crumple the expensive material in anger.  
  
"What a surprise, the fucking diva's so fucking full of himself. You think you're so powerful, don't you? You think you can do whatever you want with anyone?"  
  
It should be threatening, Akanishi's stance and the poison in his voice, but it isn't, not really, because Akanishi doesn't only look angry. He looks wounded too, like Kame has said something that hurt him somewhere inside, and there's more defense in him than threat. Akanishi's eyes are dark and alight with anger and hatred but also wide with the vulnerability of a wounded ego, and Kame doesn't know what comes over him. Maybe it's because he's drunker than he thought, or because he has been thinking Akanishi looks good for a month already and now the man is there, pressed between Kame's own body and the wall, all hot and open and furious and Kame can't help himself.  
  
Akanishi makes a surprised noise when Kame kisses him, something between a gasp and a protest. He tries to fight Kame back but Kame insists, and Akanishi finally yields. He tastes like alcohol and cigarettes but Kame doesn't care because he doesn't taste any different himself. Akanishi is pliant, his mouth hot and slick and his body moving under his own to adjust. Kame's hands leave his shoulders to find Akanishi's chest, heaving under his shirt with labored breaths, Akanishi's stomach and his hips moving to meet Kame's sharp thrusts.  
  
It's hot, fast and messy, moans and grunts muffled by the shuffling of their bodies and their boots against concrete as they try to adapt to each other, bodies close together against a dirty brick wall. Akanishi's hands pull almost painfully on Kame's hair, just as insistent and urgent as Kame's own search for Akanishi's skin under his shirt and Akanishi's jeans and belt and his rolling hips and everywhere they can reach. Clothes stay on, however, even as their ache grows bigger and more urgent under them. Kame thrusts stronger against Akanishi, faster as the friction of denim through cotton never seems to be enough, and Akanishi drowns his needy moans and whines in the crook of Kame's neck.  
  
They finish almost at the same time, panting heavily as they pull away from a last kiss. Akanishi slumps against the wall and when Kame licks his lips, he breaks a trail of saliva still connecting their lips. Akanishi has his eyes closed and Kame wonders if he's asleep, but when he reaches down to help him up, Akanishi shies from his touch like it burns.  
  
"Are you... Are you okay?" Kame asks, all the previous fire gone from him already. His head feels clearer, more sober, and he wants to apologise for his words.  
  
Akanishi shakes his head. There's no fire in his eyes either, no anger or bitterness in his expression, but with his lips swollen and red, his clothes rumpled and his hair a mess, he looks sad and confused, almost lost. When Kame takes a step towards him, Akanishi takes another one back.  
  
"Look, I..."  
  
Akanishi doesn't even let Kame finish his sentence. He just shakes his head again and turns around, almost running away from Kame and into the main street, and Kame's left alone in a dark alley, dumbfounded and with a wet patch seeping into his designer jeans.

 

#

 

Akanishi doesn’t show up at work the next day, and Kame has to do with the occasional help of one of the other translators on set. Thankfully Kame doesn’t have many scenes to film, because he’s distracted all day, unable to focus on filming and constantly forgetting his lines, and he gets asked if he’s feeling all right at least four times - apparently Akanishi called in sick, and there are worries Kame has caught whatever his translator has. Kame reassures everyone and apologises for delaying the filming, but he knows better.  
  
Getting Akanishi’s address is not exactly easy, but nothing Kame can’t do. He has the phone numbers of some of Akanishi’s friends, and a couple of texts get him the man’s address quite   
fast. Getting there is only a matter of stopping a cab and showing him the lines scribbled on a piece of paper, and a stop at the supermarket and less than an hour after leaving the set, Kame’s standing in front of Akanishi’s apartment building in Queens and hoping Akanishi will be home - and willing to listen to him too. He’s lucky the building’s door is open, or broken, because with how the whole building looks, Kame’s not very sure. The elevator is broken for sure, though, so Kame has time to think about what to say as he climbs the stairs to the fourth story.  
  
Akanishi looks shocked when he opens the door, which is not surprising, but he also looks like he hasn’t gotten out of bed all day. He’s still dressed in his pajamas and there’re dark rings under his eyes, barely concealed under his messy hair. Kame waits patiently while Akanishi blinks at him dumbly, and lifts his plastic bags when the man is still silent.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Akanishi finally blurts out.  
  
“I came to see you,” Kame says softly, like it wasn’t obvious already. “They told me you were sick, so I thought I’d come and see you.”  
  
Akanishi’s frown deepens. “How did you get my address?”  
  
“I asked your friends, the ones I met last night. I hope you don’t mind... I brought you food.”  
  
“Oh. Okay. I... I guess it’s fine. Yeah.”  
  
Kame smiles tentatively and waits for Akanishi to move and let him in, but it doesn’t seem like Akanishi’s brain’s up to par with the situation yet, because the man is not moving from the door.  
  
“Can I... Can I come in?”  
  
“Yes! Yes, come in...”  
  
Apparently shock and confusion make Akanishi polite, because as soon as Kame closes the door behind him the man brings two beers from his fridge. He frowns at Kame’s socked feet and at Kame’s neatly lined shoes by the door.  
  
“You didn’t need to take off your shoes. This is not Japan.”  
  
“Old habits die hard, I guess.”   
  
They share an awkward smile, and Akanishi points to his old, worn-out couch. Kame’s not very sure they can have small chat, but he still tries. It’s not like he can compliment Akanishi’s apartment, because what he can see of it is an old living room with barely enough furniture to pass as one and a tiny kitchen separated from the living room by a breakfast bar that looks like it could use some cleaning; Kame prefers not to imagine how the bedroom or bathroom might look. Akanishi looks embarrassed, hunched on himself on the couch and trying to keep as much distance from Kame as the two-seated couch can possibly allow them.  
  
“So...” Kame starts and clears his throat. “Are you... feeling better?”  
  
“What? Oh, uhm. Yeah, it was just... I didn’t have any voice this morning so I thought I’d be useless on set, y’know.”  
  
“I brought you food.” The plastic bag rustles as Kame lifts it again. “It’s onigiri and miso soup. I... I don’t know if you like it or how good they are - I bought them at an Asian supermarket. In Japan they’re comfort food so I thought... I thought maybe you’d appreciate it.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
Kame is not prepared for this. He came expecting Akanishi’s constant hostility, another fight, but now Akanishi is soft and polite and it’s throwing Kame off. They stay silent for a moment, awkward and tense as neither knows what to say. Kame has come for a reason, but he’s not sure how to tackle it. Maybe it’d be better to go straight to the point, but it’s a delicate topic and Kame doesn’t want to offend Akanishi. But then again, he doesn’t want to stare awkwardly at Akanishi’s old floor all day either, so he has to do something... Kame sighs.  
  
“Look,” Akanishi startles like he wasn’t expecting Kame’s voice, but instead of answering his eyes shift to somewhere in the general proximity of Kame’s feet. “I just wanted to ask about yesterday... I hope you didn’t feel... forced or... Like you had to do something you didn’t want...”  
  
Kame’s pretty sure the blush rising on Akanishi’s cheeks matches his own, but he still makes a point of looking Akanishi in the eye, or at least of trying to, because Akanishi seems to be looking for about every speck of dust in the air just as long as he can avoid Kame. In any other situation it’d be funny how he tries to sink lower into the couch, as if he could hide under the cushions, but right now it’s not because Kame’s quite serious about this; it’s been bugging him since last night. And he also needs to know.  
  
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable yesterday. I realise I was being unprofessional and I apologise for it. But your attitude towards this job and me has been negative since the first day, and I can’t understand why. I promise I won’t complain about you, I won’t get you fired, but I just want to know exactly what I’ve done to you.”  
  
Akanishi visibly tenses, long fingers closing around his beer bottle until his knuckles go white. “It’s nothing, really. You must be imagining...”  
  
“Look,” Kame sighs and turns to look at Akanishi, because even if Akanishi won’t look at him Kame can be serious and mature about this. “There’s no point in lying, okay? I know you have something against me, and I just want to know what it is so we can work it out. I won’t... I won’t get angry.”  
  
Akanishi’s eyes dart towards Kame’s in a quick glance, but he’s fast to look away again. Kame shifts uncomfortably while Akanishi licks his lips nervously, and for a moment he fears Akanishi won’t answer, or will kick Kame out of his flat or something, but in the end Akanishi just sighs and releases the tension keeping his shoulders tight.  
  
“It’s just... You came here from Japan acting like you owned the world, like you could treat me like a dog and... It just irked me, alright? You’re no one here, you’re not famous or important here and yet you acted like you were oh-so-important and I was worth nothing and... It’s always been my dream, you know? To be an actor. But I always get rejected in auditions. And to see you filming a movie in my city while I had to work for you, and you treated me with such... contempt, it just drove me nuts.”  
  
The silence is tense when Akanishi stops talking. The man looks like he’s trying to become smaller, which is quite cute as he’s dressed in oversized pajamas, but Kame has no mind to realise it because he’s still trying to process what Akanishi has said. It would explain why Akanishi has been so bitter towards him since the first day, and Kame can understand the frustration of working for others when you want to be in their place, because it’s not like the start was easy for Kame either... But he hadn’t realised he had been making things worse.  
  
“I’m sorry.” The apology surprises Akanishi, who startles a bit and turns to look incredulously at Kame. He looks away with a blush when he realises it, though, and Kame’s grateful because he doesn’t know if he can do this while looking at him. “I hadn’t realised that was your... opinion. I guess I’m just used to how things are in Japan, and I didn’t think it’d be so different here. I guess I might have given off the wrong impression, and I apologise for it.”  
  
Akanishi looks at him again, eyes wide and shocked. He still looks like he can’t believe Kame’s apologizing. He’s not saying anything, though, and Kame doesn’t know what else to say either, so the uncomfortable silence is back between them, and Kame’s starting to wonder if this is how things will be between them now that the hostility is gone.  
  
“I...” Akanishi stutters, “I guess... I guess it’s fine? I suppose my... attitude hasn’t been the best either and I... I should apologise for it too so... Sorry, I guess, Kamenashi-san.”  
  
Akanishi is back to not looking at him, but he does when Kame raises his barely touched beer bottle a bit.  
  
“You know, since we’re in America... I guess you can call me Kame? I guess I should’ve got used to doing things the American way already, right? Peace, then?”  
  
“You should call me Jin, then,” Akanishi says as he raises his own bottle to bump it lightly against Kame’s. “To a new start,” he mumbles, and they share a nervous smile over the toast.  
  
  
#  
  
  
It’s raining heavily when Jin leaves the apartment and it takes him a few moments to remember he doesn’t actually need to be anywhere else. He could just go back inside, hide under a blanket and wait for the storm to blow over in the comforting company of some film character or game show host. It sounds like a plan - one perfect for a miserable grey day like today - so Jin heads back into the building.  
  
Kame’s so busy with his English lessons Jin rarely ever hears from him these days. They barely see each other anymore - only when Kame’s called in for filming, which is not that often now that most of his scenes are already done.   
  
Jin guesses he could still drop by the studio and watch the other actors work. Not so long ago he would have done that happily; now, it’s just not as much fun.  
  
It feels weird to stand there like a lump with nothing to do, no Kame to tend to, as everyone else walks past him busily rushing to do something or other - mostly, though, it just gets terribly lonely on set without Kame. Jin was just beginning to get used to working for him; Kame’s been nothing but pleasant company ever since they buried the hatchet over a couple of beers in Jin's living room, and if Jin's completely honest with himself, he's even begun to look forward to spending time with him.  
  
It’s funny how much things can change in just a few days, how a well-meant apology can make you see the world in a different light...  
  
His cell vibrates on the table and Jin glances at it curiously. It’s Mike, probably wanting to know if he’s free tonight. He presses the answer button and mumbles a greeting into the receiver.  
  
“Hey!” Mike says cheerfully, “Wanna hang? There’s this new place in Chelsea. I thought we could check it out, you know?”  
  
Jin turns over so he’s no longer speaking into a couch pillow. “I think I’ll pass.”   
  
“You sure? It sounds like your kind of place...”  
  
“Yeah. Sorry, man, just not in the mood today.” Maybe if he called Kame and asked him to tag along... but Kame’s busy. He’s busy, and it’s not like he’s Jin’s friend, and Jin definitely shouldn’t be bothering him with something as silly as this, all because he’s bored out of his mind, and a bit blue, and missing Kame like crazy.   
  
Oh god.   
  
He actually  _misses_  him. This is so fucked up, this can’t be-- He can’t be crushing on Kame, of all people.  
  
Mike’s still talking over the phone. “What, seriously?” he’s saying. “Are you okay? Who are you and what have you done with Jin?”  
  
“I’m fine.” Jin laughs weakly. “Just... I don’t know.”  
  
“This is about that friend of yours, isn’t it? Has he gone back to Japan? It’s been a while since we last saw him.”  
  
“What? No, of course not! Nothing to do with him, and for your information he's still here, just busy.”  
  
“Listen, I don't know what happened between you guys, but if--”  
  
“Nothing!” Jin squeaks, and then adds, “Nothing happened, really,” in what he hopes is a quieter tone.  
  
“All right, all right. Chill dude, whatever you say...”  
  
“Yeah, um... Look, I’m kind of in the middle of something, mind if I call you back later?” It’s a blatant lie, but Jin really doesn’t want to talk about Kame right now. He wishes he could just stop thinking about him altogether, but so far it doesn’t look like he’s doing a very good job of it on his own. And now his friends suspect something’s up.   
  
That’s not good. Jin has never been the best of liars and he just knows it’s all going to come spilling out at the worst possible time. And, god, was it really that obvious? It was, wasn’t it? The guys probably pieced it all together the moment neither he nor Kame returned to the club after their... accidental meeting in the alley. That night. Running away probably wasn’t the smartest idea.  
  
Jin never got a repeat of that night. That was, well, quite humiliating at the time, even if for all the wrong reasons, but now-- he thinks it could all be different now, better. He certainly wouldn’t be so averse to giving it a second try, not with this new Kame who actually treats him like he’s a real human being, with rights and everything. He wonders if maybe, if he just...   
  
Jin squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to clear his head; that’s a silly train of thought and he knows it.   
  
Kame was very obviously drunk that night; surely, it meant nothing to him. He probably isn’t even interested in Jin, not in that way - he’s a famous actor, with lots of famous friends who are probably much more his type than Jin, friends who have more in common with Kame than Jin ever will. For all he knows, Kame could have a boyfriend waiting for him back in Japan, and even if he doesn’t, he’ll be going back to Japan at some point.  
  
It’s not like Jin can just up and follow him there for no reason.  
  
  
#  
  
  
At St. Regis Hotel's cocktail lounge, Kame's seated in a booth with most of his Japanese colleagues. They're celebrating the fact that filming will be over in a little under a month, and they'll all finally be able to return to their country. For many of them, the time to go back to their families can't come soon enough - especially for most of the older cast members, who have spouses and children waiting for them.  
  
Kame's feeling a bit mellow after a few drinks, not really drunk, but buzzed enough that he finds himself zoning out on things from time to time. Most of the actors around his age have already left, looking for more lively places to go clubbing, and the conversation seems to be dying down slowly.  
  
He's just about to call it a night when something Matsuda - the actress playing the lead character's wife in the film - is saying catches his attention, “...and now they'll have to find a replacement for Sumida-san as soon as possible.”  
  
“Excuse me,” Kame says, scooting his chair a bit closer so he won't have to yell over the music to make himself heard. “Is Sumida-san leaving the film?”  
  
Matsuda turns her head, her eyebrows raised in surprise. She's a middle-aged woman, but one very beautiful for her age, with unusually large eyes that make her look deceptively naïve. “Apparently there's been some sort of disagreement with his agency”, she says, “and his contract has been terminated.”  
  
“I see.” Kame nods thoughtfully. “That must be very inconvenient, so close to the end of filming...”  
  
“Yes,” Matsuda agrees, “and it's all been rather sudden. The director is in a bit of a rush to find a suitable candidate for the role, he's even asked some of the cast if they know anyone they could recommend.”  
  
“Really?” Kame can think of a certain someone who might be interested in getting that role. It’s not an important part or anything - if Kame remembers correctly, Sumida didn’t have more than a couple of lines in the whole film - but it’s screen time, it’s something. Everyone starts small anyway, even the most famous actors have acted in small parts in hopes of making it big one day. “When will they be holding the auditions?”  
  
For a moment, Matsuda looks as though she's going to remind Kame he's already been cast for the film, but then she simply says, “They’ve already started, although they probably plan on continuing for a few days before they make a decision.”  
  
It's already dark when Kame finally steps outside - it just seemed terribly rude to leave straight away after talking to Matsuda, so Kame ended up buying her a drink and chatting to her for a while longer - but hopefully, soon enough that he won’t be waking Jin up if he calls him now. It’d be nice if Jin had some time to get acquainted with the character before showing up at the audition. The phone rings only once before Jin’s voice greets him cheerfully on the other end of the line, “Hey, it’s been a while!”  
  
“Hi!” Kame answers, and he can’t help smiling a silly little grin Jin luckily won’t be able to see. It’s uplifting to hear him sound so lively - he seemed somewhat morose the last time Kame saw him. “I didn’t wake you, did I? I wasn’t sure if I should be calling at this hour, but I thought you’d want to hear about this.”   
  
“What is it?” Jin asks. “Do you need me to go get you or something because... I can do that. I’d just need a few minutes to--”  
  
“No, no, just, how would you like getting a role in the film?”  
  
There’s a pause. A short stretch of silence on the line, and then, “What film?”  
  
“The one I’m working on, you dolt,” Kame replies, although he’s secretly very pleased by Jin’s reaction. “There’s an opening. One of the other actors had to leave unexpectedly, so how would you like an audition tomorrow?”   
  
“Tomorrow? But isn’t that a bit too soon?”  
  
“It's a very small part,” Kame reassures him, “you won’t have any trouble learning your lines before then, trust me.”  
  
“Oh. Okay, then, I... This is amazing!” Jin says, and then adds a quiet, “Thanks, Kame,” before hanging up.  
  
Kame wonders if it’s getting hotter, or if it’s just the hope in Jin’s voice that makes his limbs tingle with something warm.  
  
  
#   
  
  
Kame smiles at Jin from across the audition room in a way he hopes looks encouraging, and wishes for the best.   
  
He was already in there when Jin came in, all shaky hands and unsteady voice, and looking like a nervous wreck. Normally, Kame wouldn’t be allowed to be present while there are auditions going on, but Jin has chosen the only scene his character has with Kame’s for the reading. As things stand, Kame is endlessly glad for that - if Jin feels anything at all like he looks, he’s liable to run away in a panic any minute now.  
  
Jin takes a couple of steps towards the middle of the room, and then simply stands there, pale as a ghost as he reads his first line. “You think you can just get away with this?” he mumbles choppily. He’s holding the script too high, blocking his face, and that’s... No, Jin, please, please don’t do that. It’s one of the first tips they give you when you’re preparing for an audition: the director wants to see your facial expressions -  _never_  cover your face.  
  
“Excuse me?” Kame reads, “Who are you?”  
  
“I’m the guy who’s going to put you behind bars for the rest of your life.” Oh god, he looks so tense, so uncomfortable... This will never do. Kame’s been to enough of these things to know he’s going to be hearing the dreaded ‘Thanks, next!’ sometime soon.  
  
He laughs lightly. “Good luck with that.”  
  
“What? You think I can’t... That I have--” Jin breaks off suddenly, staring wide-eyed at Kame for a short moment before hiding behind the script again. This is disastrous. He’s clearly forgotten the rest of the line.   
  
Kame catches one of the producers pursing his lips in frustration, and then it’s already happening. “Thanks,” the director’s saying, “we’ll call you in a few days to let you know if you got the part.” No, no they won’t, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. “Next!”  
  
Jin is out of the room almost before the director finishes speaking, and Kame has to run to catch up with him. “Hey. Hey, wait!” he calls when Jin won’t slow down. That apparently does the trick.  
  
“What happened in there?” Kame asks, approaching Jin in cautious, slow steps. “That was the flattest performance I've ever seen. Come on, Jin, you can do much better than that...”  
  
“That's easy for you to say,” Jin snaps, wrapping his arms defensively around himself, “you don't really need to work, do you? Doesn't matter if you fail to get the role, there's no pressure.”  
  
“There’s always pressure! You just need to learn be more confident, no one’s going to buy a character you don’t even think you can play.”  
  
“But what if,” Jin swallows, once, “what if I can’t? What if I’m simply no good at this acting--”  
  
Kame cuts him off. “That’s not the case, and you know it,” he says, trying to put as much conviction in his voice as he can. He means every word, and it’s very, very important for him not to sound uncertain right now. He needs Jin to start believing in himself in order to stand a chance - not just in this audition, but in any audition. “Even if that were the case, you’d still have to go in there looking like you believe you can do it. This is about convincing them, Jin. How do you expect to do that when you won’t believe it yourself?”  
  
“I know, I just... get nervous and...” Jin sighs, then laughs shakily. “God, I really fucked up in there, didn’t I?”  
  
“Yes.” Kame frowns, because even if he kind of wants to hug Jin and pat his shoulder, he also needs to make his point come across. “Yes, you did, and if this is how you did all your auditions before it’s no wonder you’re still working as an assistant.” Jin’s eyes flash with hurt and he hunches his shoulders a bit, defensive again. “Just... If you had another chance... Would you promise to try to do better?”  
  
“I... Yes, of course, but... I don’t think they will...”  
  
Kame smiles and winks at him. “Let me see what I can do.”  
  
  
#  
  
  
Jin wonders what Kame had to do to get him a second chance at the audition, and the thought alone makes him nervous as he reads over his lines again and again, even if by now he knows them all by heart. They are not that many, but Jin still wants to do his best after Kame went through the trouble of convincing the director to let Jin have a second reading. Kame helps him to rehearse too, so by the time Jin goes to his second reading, he’s a fairly confident bundle of nerves.  
  
His chosen lines are still the same, so he still gets to do the audition with Kame. That helps, at least, because Kame’s a reassuring presence even when the director and the producers make Jin nervous. He still does his best, because that’s what he promised Kame and because Kame was right about what he said, and if Jin doesn’t trust himself to be able to play a role he won’t be able to convince anyone to give him a part either. So Jin gives his best performance and tries to look confident even as the director scribbles something on a paper and tells Jin they’ll call him with any news.  
  
The call takes three days, and the wait is agonizing. Jin has to be on set to help Kame with his final scenes, and now that there’s a possibility he will be in the same movie he’s watching being filmed, it sets him on edge. Kame keeps trying to distract him and reassure him that it’ll be all right, but it’s not quite working. He takes Jin out to have drinks or dinner too after filming so Jin doesn’t hole up at home to worry about the results.  
  
The call comes precisely when Jin’s on his way to meet Kame at the closest McDocnald’s, and it’s obvious by Kame’s face when Jin arrives that Kame already knows the answer. They order their food without a word to each other and it’s only after they have found a table that Kame dares to break the silence.  
  
“I’m sorry you didn’t get the part, Jin. You really did a great reading.”  
  
Jin just shrugs. He’s used to this, anyway. Failure doesn’t hurt anymore, or it shouldn’t, and it wouldn’t have if Kame hadn’t given him hopes... Jin’s trying really hard not to resent Kame for it now that they’ve been getting friendly, because it’s not really Kame’s fault. “It’s fine,” he mumbles instead, and takes a bite as big as he can out of his BigMac because he really doesn’t feel like talking.  
  
“Look, you don’t have to give up just because of this...”  
  
“It’s not just because of this! It’s because  _this_  is what happens every time I try!” Jin bursts, and it seems to take Kame aback, because he looks down and picks at his fries. “I’m so tired of it, Kame. I’m so tired of trying without results, again and again and again. I guess I’m just... not cut out for that. Maybe I should just give up.”  
  
“With that attitude, you might as well give up.” There’s a rage in Kame’s voice that Jin isn’t expecting, and it takes him by surprise. He looks up, gaping at Kame, and only remembers to swallow his half munched hamburger bite when Kame wrinkles his nose at him. “Did you think parts would come raining down on you at the first try? Did you really think it was going to be that easy?”  
  
Jin looks down at his tray again, poking at his burger with a fry. He doesn’t really know what to say, because he knows Kame’s right, but it’s just so discouraging to try and expect to succeed just to be shown he’s not good enough every time. He startles when Kame’s hand touches his over the table, and wonders if if he drinks enough coke it’ll drown the butterflies in his stomach. Jin doesn’t think butterflies can swim.  
  
“Do you know how hard it was for me to get my first role, Jin? How many auditions I had to go to, how many things I had to sacrifice? You have to keep trying! You can’t just... give up because things don’t go your way straight away. You said it was your dream, right? Then you have to fight for it! Even if it feels like it’s still far away, you’ll get there someday.”  
  
Jin blushes because Kame’s speech sounds more like something out of a film like something someone would say in real life, but it’s all true. He drinks some more coke to think about what he’s going to say, because he needs a bit of courage before saying it. Kame’s fingers brush across his knuckles, light and teasing, and Jin chokes on his coke and sputters all over the table. Kame squeaks and Jin coughs and whacks his chest as Kame tries to dry the mess with napkins.  
  
“Jin? Are you okay?”  
  
Jin nods as he tries to catch his breath. His face is red and Kame’s trying not to laugh at him, but he figures this is a moment as good as any other, because perfectly romantic scenes only happen in movies anyway, and he’s not filming one yet.  
  
“I just... I wanted to ask you if you think it’d be easier in Japan. To make a career, I mean.”  
  
“Hmm,” Kame cocks his head to the side and Jin licks his lips, because Kame looks so cute it makes him wonder if he’s really in a movie after all, or if it’s just part of Kame’s charm. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t say there’s more competition there, but I think they’re more exigent... You speak English though, and Japanese too, so you should have a chance at least, I guess... Why do you ask?”  
  
Jin bites his lips, scratches the back of his head and licks a bit of ketchup from his fingers. “I just... I was thinking... Since you stopped being a jerk and all I kind of... like you. And I thought it’d be a pity to give up on you now that you’re finally being nice, you see.”  
  
Kame raises his eyebrow until it disappears under his bangs, and Jin doesn’t even dare to look at him. “You know, for a romantic confession this is not exactly Hollywood material.” Jin has an apology on the tip of his tongue, but then Kame’s tugging on his hand. “But I’ve just told you to keep trying, so I guess it’ll have to do for now.”  
  
Kame pulls on Jin’s hands to drag him over the table, until his lips are on Kame’s and Jin’s brain shuts down on overload. Kame tastes likes fries and chicken nuggets and coke, and nothing like the movies say he should, but perfect anyway. The edge of the table is digging into Jin’s stomach and it’s uncomfortable and he’s pretty sure the kid in the table next to them is pointing at them, but he can’t bring himself to care because when Kame pulls apart he’s flushed and his lips are a bit red and Jin has a sauce smudge on the corner of his mouth and he hasn’t been this happy in a long while. Kame grins and leans in to lick the sauce off Jin’s face, and Jin thinks his brain might have melted already.  
  
“You’re going to love Japan.”


End file.
